“I’m just not that interested anymore.”

And so begins another parental/educational dilemma. Your child no longer wants to participate in an activity that you absolutely want him to continue. It could be swimming lessons, violin lessons, the basketball team, the debate club. No matter what it is, it’s something that you feel benefits your child, whether it’s physically, academically, emotionally, or all three. And yet, they communicate in no uncertain terms that they’re not into it any longer; they want to quit.

So what do you do? No, really, I’m asking you! I write this as my son participates in a chess tournament that he’s not so keen on attending. Part of that is nerves, I know, but a bigger part is the fact that chess, after 5+ years of play, no longer excites him. He used to literally jump up and down with enthusiasm when taking a chess lesson. He would shout to the world, “I love this game!” after a particularly intense match with his teacher. But, as happens to many kids, the thrill seems to be gone. So do I let him quit? Do I let him stop playing this game that has taught him so much?

So far, the answer to that question is no. He’s not even close to miserable about the whole thing, so I think shutting the door on his chess playing at this time would be a bit premature. Chess is such an intricate, multi-leveled game that can teach a child so much; I’m not willing to let my son say goodbye at the first signs of disinterest. I probably would think about it if he wanted to replace it with an equally enriching activity, but so far that hasn’t happened.

So what’s a parent to do? At what point do we let our kids let go of something that no longer floats their boat? Do we force them to continue? And if forcing makes them miserable, is the activity really worth it? Will they thank us when they’re older even though they’re grousing now?

Most parents I’ve met seem to be following the course that I am. They don’t let their child quit at the first signs of dislike, but rather encourage them to stick with it. Kids are fickle and we all know that today’s thumbs down activity may very well be an enthusiastic thumbs up a few days later. One parent I know switched her child’s swim lessons to a new location and the spark was reignited. Another let her child take a three month hiatus from karate and when she started again, her enthusiasm was renewed.

So for now, the chess pieces continue to move across the board even though the jumping up and down has stopped. Maybe it will return someday, maybe not. In the meantime I will try to encourage without nagging, listen without judging, and just say no to quitting.

Ever been in this situation? Let me know how you’ve handled it.

Tags: activity, chess, children, educational, quit

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My son’s very generous grandmother gave him an iPad for his 13^th birthday. It was a promise she made to him two years ago when the iPad first came out and the day finally arrived. I know there is a lot of debate today about personal electronics and how kids are spending too much time with their eyes glued to a screen. I agree that the abundance of video games and gadgets can take away from really important things like reading, playing outside, or actually talking to another person.  But I have to say, the iPad is a sleek, efficient device that yes, can be used for lots of fun, but can also be a powerful educational tool.

After loading up the iPad with the usual Angry Birds, Netflix, video game apps, we talked about other ways it can be used. I was pleasantly surprised when my son said he wanted some word games. I think the operative word there is “games.” The iPad makes learning a new and enjoyable experience. Even a flashcard app like Super Kids Vocabulary sparks his interest because he thinks it’s cool to swipe the screen and reveal the definition. Two taps on the screen and a sample sentence is revealed.

And then we found Word Ball where he gets to spell out as many words he can think of as quickly as he can. It’s a video game, but he’s building his vocabulary and spelling skills. Speaking of spelling, check out Miss Spell’s Class . It’s a simple spelling test, but this time a student can “play” the test instead of just taking it.

There’s even the humorously named  Moron Quiz, which asks seemingly simple questions that can trip up both kids and adults alike. (Don’t ask me my score.)

So my opinion is, if your child has to have some kind of electronic device, the iPad is the one to get. There are literally thousands of educational apps covering all academic subjects. No, learning doesn’t have to be fun, but if it can be, why not?

Let me know if you have some apps you’d recommend.

Tags: apps, iPad, Miss_Spell's_Class, Moron_Quiz, Super_Kids_Vocabulary, video_games, vocabulary. spelling, Word_Ball, word_games

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It’s hard to believe that in a few short days I’ll have a teenager living in my home. I’ll try to avoid the clichés when describing how this feels. (Even though Where does the time go? is just dying to come out.) I’ve learned a lot in the thirteen years I’ve been a mother; the number one lesson being Who knew there was so much to learn? And I keep on learning, every day, thanks to that little bundle I brought home in 1999 who is now almost my equal in height and weight. Here’s a list of what I thought I knew and how it all really turned out.

•            Babies sleep through the night by 3 months old.

Um, no they don’t. At least most of them don’t and I, unfortunately, had that 3 month mark seared into my brain. When it didn’t happen, I was a sleep-deprived, resentful mess. But, as with most things baby-related, with time (and Dr. Weissbluth’s help) he eventually slept a blissful 12 hours.  Lesson learned: baby books aren’t always right.

•           Preschool is a fun time for children to play and socialize.

Yes, sure it is. But if you live in New York City, you know that the application process is anything but fun. Hundreds of kids vying for dozens of spots at schools that charge thousands for playing with blocks. After across the board rejection, we found a great place with no application process; just write a check and you’re in. My son thrived there thanks to the two Ts: teachers and trampolines. It was a fun school and served him well.  Lesson learned: try not to get sucked into the NYC school hype. Just because your little one didn’t get into Preschool X doesn’t mean Harvard is not in his future.

•          Parent/Teacher conferences tell you all you need to know.

After hearing “everything is fine” for close to two years of elementary school, we finally realized that it was anything but. After a thorough evaluation, a special education environment was recommended and we said goodbye to mainstream schooling. Lesson learned:  no one really knows your child the way you do. Trust your gut, as hard as that might be sometimes, and if something doesn’t feel right, take action.

•         Kids need to have a lot of friends. It’s an important part of growing up.

All it takes is one good friend. Sure, having a lot of pals at school is fun and helps with social skills, but whether it’s one or one hundred doesn’t really matter. Lesson learned: if your child has someone he connects with, plays with, looks forward to seeing each day, that’s all he really needs.

•          You will love your child unconditionally.

I do love my son unconditionally. Even if he misbehaves sometimes, or worries me, or causes me to lose sleep, I love him and always will.  Lesson learned: I always knew I would love him, I just didn’t know how much.

I’d love to hear about your parenting journey.

Tags: babies, friends, parenting, preschool, teacher, teenager, unconditional_love

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“Who is the Vice President of the United States?”

“How many stars are on the American flag?”

Simple questions, right? Well, if you’ve seen this now viral video, you know that for some high school students, there are no simple questions. There aren’t even simple answers!

It appears that the majority of students at this high school are ignorant about basic facts that most of us learned in elementary school. But before you shake your head in dismay and lament over the state of education in this country, it’s important to read the statement from the two student journalists who made this video. It begins with this:

“It should be known that we filmed for several hours, during which time many students gave correct responses; the film represents a short segment of the most entertaining answers.”

I don’t know about you, but I did find some comfort in that. It’s true that the more mistaken an answer is (“Bin Laden is the Vice President!”), the greater the shock value. So overall, I think it’s safe to assume that the students shown in this video do not represent the majority at this particular school.

But that doesn’t change the fact that there are students who really have no clue, especially about the history of our country. And whose fault is that? Some say it’s because history, especially American history, gets short shrift in curricula these days. Others blame No Child Left Behind or video games or social media. I don’t think it’s possible to blame any one thing. For many reasons, there has been a cultural shift in this country away from serious studies, especially outside of the classroom. Kids have a lot more choices when it comes to filling up their free time. There was a time when books were practically the only form of entertainment, so books it was. In previous generations, kids read more and watched less. And we all know that reading, whether for pleasure or studies, expands the mind and the knowledge within it.

So what do we do? Do we watch a video like this and shrug it off? Or do we throw out all electronics in our homes and fill up our bookshelves and/or e-readers? Do we quiz our teens when they walk in the door today? (“How was your day, hon? And by the way, who’s the Vice President?”) I for one, won’t be jumping to conclusions and declaring education broken; our futures bleak. But I will make sure to continue to advocate for students, both mine and yours, so that someday we can all watch a video like that and know with confidence, that it’s just a joke.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Tags: education, high_school_students, history, questions, reading, video

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I am five years old and I’m in the bathroom that is right off my kindergarten classroom. The entire time I am in there I am singing. I am under the misconception that no one can hear me. When I exit the bathroom the entire class, including my teacher, Mrs. Bartlett, is staring at me and smiling. I am told I have a nice singing voice.

No, that wasn’t a weird dream I recently had, that is something that actually happened and has stayed with me all these years. Like most adults I meet, I have some pretty vivid memories of my elementary school days and can easily list all my teachers. It’s such a formative and life-changing time for children, it’s no wonder that the memories, be they good or bad, tend to stick.

First grade, Mrs. O’Neal. When she taught my brother a few years earlier, she was Miss Olsen. My mom told me she had gotten married and changed her name. I remember thinking that was strange.

Those first years of school are about learning basic skills, both academic and social. The student-teacher relationship is crucial to success. If a teacher is unable to reach your child or make her feel comfortable in the school environment, then it could lead to future problems.

Second grade, Miss Berger. She was tall and sassy and wore great ‘70s jumpsuits. I really liked her and I liked school. Richard Nixon was president.

I have tutors that work with elementary school students and I see how it helps build their confidence. So important at that age! I remember there were kids in my elementary school who struggled and they often did not get the extra help they needed. Unfortunately, this can set a child up for a lifetime of bad school experiences.

Third and fourth grade, Mrs. Perlman. She was sweet and funny and old! (Probably almost 40!) I remember studying for my multiplication exam and feeling extremely nervous. There were 100 problems we had to finish in a certain amount of time. I got 99 out of 100 and still remember which one I got wrong. (For the record, 6 x 5 does not = 31.)

As students move up the grades, play time decreases and more time is spent on academics. But they’re still kids and they’re still silly and we need to remember that’s OK too. A nice balance between work and play is important. (And is pretty good advice for all students, no matter the age.)

Fifth grade, Mrs. Koran. She was Anne (“With an e!” she would say.) Koran and she was really old (Maybe 50!!) and mean. Or so we thought. By the end of the year we had come to love her and pooled our money to buy her a pin. (The letter A, for Anne – with an e!)

It’s all still there for me, those first six years that helped to form the student and person I would become. It sticks because it was that important. One of the dictionary definitions of elementary is straightforward and uncomplicated and that’s what school should be in those early years. My memories are a testament to that.

Any school memories you’d like to share?

Tags: elementary, elementary_school, memories, students, teachers

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Should kids be allowed to bring cell phones to school? My son’s middle school just banned all phones due to excessive texting, video and picture taking. I understand the distraction phones can create, but I must admit, I’ve gotten used to my son being an easy text message away in case of emergency or a change in plans. On days he’s late from school, a quick text message eases my mind.

Of course, when I was growing up there were no cell phones and my parents were fine with that. If I was running late, perhaps they got a bit concerned, but the only option was to wait and see if I showed up, which I always did. And I suppose they could’ve called the school if I was very late, but it never came to that.

We’ve all become extremely reliant on our phones, both kids and adults. I guess once you get used to a convenience, it’s hard for it to be taken away.

I completely agree that students should not be allowed to have cell phones with them as they go from class to class. The temptation to use them is just too great. My son’s school said that phones may be brought to school, but must remain in a student’s locker for the entire day. The problem is, the lockers don’t actually have locks so there’s the risk of the phone being stolen.

What’s the policy at your child’s school and how do you handle it?

Tags: cell_phones, school, students, texting

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You never know what will pique your kids’ interest; sometimes it’s something you’d never imagine. Case in point: I was watching the umpteenth GOP debate last night and my 12-year-old joined me on the couch. He’s a bit fascinated by the whole presidential election process and is always asking questions about the candidates: what they believe, where they’re from, whether I like them or not. After listening to the differing opinions for a few minutes, he turned to me and said, “Ya know, Mom, when you listen to the way they talk, they all sound like they’re right.”  After complimenting his astute observation, I told him that if someone is going to run for president, they need to speak with confidence about all the issues. They have to really believe what they’re saying and know how to defend it.

This got me thinking about students and how self-confidence is the key to successful learning. If a child doesn’t believe they can learn something, then they either won’t learn it or will struggle greatly. A teacher or tutor can try every trick in the book to make a student understand a concept, but if there’s a lack of confidence, an attitude of “I’ll never be able to do this!” then that concept never really sticks. A student might understand it temporarily, but it doesn’t become a permanent tool in his educational toolbox.

So what do you do if your child lacks confidence in her ability to learn? What if she says something like, “I’m not smart, that’s why I don’t understand this math homework.” Experts agree that replies like, “Of course you’re smart!” aren’t very helpful. If your child is upset, telling them you disagree will only make things worse. Acknowledging what they’re feeling is a better strategy:  “You sound frustrated. What’s going on with your math homework?”  Let them express what they’re feeling and why, but as I’ve written about before, don’t get roped into doing the homework for them. That doesn’t end up helping anyone.

A good tutor can do wonders for self-confidence. By working one-on-one with a student and making a tough concept much clearer, a student will feel better both about the work and himself. Giving a student the skills he needs to understand homework and what’s going on in the classroom is a real boost for self-esteem and confidence.

Let me know if you’ve encountered lack of confidence in your kids and how you handled it. I’d love to hear your ideas.

Tags: confidence, homework, learning, self-confident, student, tutor

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Ask a student who doesn’t like school what the main reasons are and the B word is often at the top of that list: “I’m bored”; “School is boring”; “When will I ever have to know this boring stuff?” It’s a common refrain, especially among struggling students. So who’s to blame? Is it the students themselves? The teachers? Or maybe it’s the curriculum; is it time for more 21^st century thinking when it comes to designing what our kids learn?

As you know, I’m a huge fan of teachers; I’m even the daughter of a teacher. But when it comes to students being bored, oftentimes – but certainly not always – much of the blame lies with the teachers. The most talented teachers and tutors I know are able to take the driest and yes, most boring, material and spark an interest in a child. (If you ever took a college course solely for the professor who taught it, you’ll know what I mean.) Teachers who have sustained their own lifelong interest in learning are frequently those who have found alternative ways of delivering so-called dry material and connecting with their students in ways that generate excitement about learning, regardless of subject.

Lots of time is spent learning facts and dates about people and events that preceded even the ancient lives of the student’s parents. But learning this information doesn’t have to entail reading phonebook-thick textbooks and regurgitating seemingly irrelevant information. This was brought home to me after seeing Lin-Manuel Miranda perform at the  American Songbook series  at Lincoln Center this week. Lin, a hip hop artist and Tony award winner for his musical In the Heights, took the stage and taught the most creative, entertaining, imaginative history lesson I’ve ever witnessed. What do you think? Would a student rather learn about Alexander Hamilton from a textbook or from something like this:

I am not suggesting that textbooks can or should be replaced, they will always have their place in the classroom.  But why not seek out supplemental, innovative ways to present the material as well?  Why not, for example, have the students read a chapter on Alexander Hamilton and then watch Lin’s interpretation? Maybe an assignment could be writing their own hip hop version of history.

If you’re a teacher or tutor and reading this, you might disagree with me. I know my ideas are sometimes easier blogged than done. And sometimes there are students who won’t catch that spark for learning no matter how entertaining the teacher. And, of course, we also have the dreaded “teaching to the test” curricula that too often displaces opportunities for fresher approaches to learning. There are a lot of factors that might be working against preventing boredom, but even a few tweaks here and there can help. There’s no reason for students to be bored in school.

Tags: boring, Lin-Manuel Miranda, school, students, teachers

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As my now 6^th grader was growing up, he never knew he had learning issues. He was enrolled in a Collaborative Team Teaching class in kindergarten, but to him it was just school. The class was composed of children both with and without learning disabilities. He was with the group that worked with the special education teacher, but to him that was just his group. After first grade he moved on to a special education school where all the children faced learning challenges of some kind. But again, to him, this was just a new, albeit smaller, school.

Over the last few years he has moved on to middle school  and the questions and questioning have begun. He has become aware that certain things are more challenging for him than some of his peers. He has questioned both his intelligence and his ability to learn. He has developed a self-awareness that I am proud of, even if it does cause some distress at times.

Some people, especially those who have never been there, might question why he wasn’t told sooner. I have never lied to him about his learning disabilities, but honestly, until a few years ago, he never really asked. Most teachers and administrators in special education agree that their main goal is making a student feel comfortable and confident. Saddling children with labels at an early age when they can’t really understand what they mean, can be detrimental. When my son asked why he had to switch schools after first grade, I simply explained that he needed a smaller classroom setting so he could learn better. There was no need to affix a label to him at that point. All his labels were firmly in place on his IEP and those were labels I accepted freely since they helped to get him the services and school setting that he needed.

Now in his middle school, the idea of being a different kind of learner is discussed freely and in fact, is part of the curriculum. The wise teachers and staff there know that this is the age when kids start to become aware of their differences and question them. They discuss how everyone learns in their own way, with their own strengths and weaknesses. They talk about labels and rising above them. They assure them there is nothing they can’t do if they really want to. So while it isn’t always the smoothest of roads, it’s a road nonetheless. A road they’re now old enough to navigate, understand and hopefully travel upon to a bright future.

Traveling on this road yourself? I’d love to hear from you.

Tags: CTT, IEP, labels, learning_disabilities, special_education

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I am a mix of emotions as the 2011 Mosaic year comes to a close. Looking back, I can honestly say I am grateful, proud, moved, amused, surprised, tired and excited – all at once! It’s been a whirlwind year that I spent getting to know a lot of fantastic New York City parents, students and tutors. I have done my best to help you and am so grateful for all that you’ve taught me. Here are just some of the highlights of an exciting and educational year:

• The 6^th grade student who went up four levels in reading and couldn’t wait to tell me. His tutor had not only helped him academically, she really increased his confidence.

• The generous parent who called me not about a tutor for her own child, but the child of her employee. She not only pays for his tutoring, she also lets the tutoring take place at her home. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving!

• The young student who was no longer able to attend his school and needed home schooling and his gifted tutor who has made sure he continues to learn and thrive.

• The email I received from a parent after one of Mosaic’s tutors worked her children for the first time.  “My kids both ADORED him.”

• The email I received from a parent after her son’s tutoring was finished: “He approaches things differently because of the techniques and skills he learned from (the tutor) and mentions her quite often. Please let her know that she did an awesome job tutoring my son.”

• The lovely family that gave one of my tutors a gift at the end of the school year and donated to a charity she was working for.

• Having one of my tutors work with a Summer Search student. I’m so proud to be associated with this special organization that helps keep low income kids on the college track.

Here’s to a wonderful 2012 for all the Mosaic families and tutors. I look forward to helping educate and being educated by all of you.

Tags: educational, home_schooling, parents, reading, students, summer_search, tutors

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