This past Monday was a lucky day for me. I had the absolute privilege of attending the Summer Search NYC Send Off. Summer Search is an organization that provides low-income high school students with year-round mentoring, summer experiences and college advising. 99% of Summer Search kids graduate high school and 92% go on to college. (Compared to the nationwide statistic that only 21% of low income kids end up with a college degree.)

Monday night’s event gave me the opportunity to share in the joy these kids feel being a part of Summer Search. They described their summer adventures: white water rafting out west, helping children in India, exploring and working in China. These once in a lifetime adventures helped these kids have a broader view of the world and themselves. Some of the students had been with Summer Search for three years and were now moving on to college, thanks to the mentoring and guidance the stellar staff provided along the way. The younger students were just getting started and were looking forward to their first trips this summer. There was a lot of cheering, a lot of hugging, and more optimism than I’ve seen in one room in a long time.

A mother spoke (in both English and Spanish) about how Summer Search had changed her childrens’ lives. She was awestruck by the fact that the program is completely free and expressed her gratitude with humor and kindness.  Staff members dance and sang, students recited poetry about their futures, a slide show put pictures to all the wonderful thoughts being expressed.

But it was Melissa Jimenez who touched me the most. A graduating senior who is heading to college, she spoke eloquently about her journey as a Summer Search student. She described her trips, her relationships with her mentors and family, and how it had all changed for the better since she found this special organization a few years ago. She thanked everyone who had helped her along the way, but it was when she thanked herself that I was most moved. “I’d like to thank my voice,” she said, which she had only found in the last two years.  How lucky for me that I got to hear it.

Visit Summer Search to learn more and get involved.

Tags: college, guidance, mentoring, summer, summer_search

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So how was it? It’s the middle of May and the school year is almost over. It’s time to take stock, look back over the year and see where we all landed. Did your child thrive? Did he struggle? Did he cruise along somewhere in the middle? Did he like his teachers? His classmates? Was this the year he blossomed or was this the year his challenges became obvious? Did you homeschool for the first time or was this the year your child tried a traditional school setting?

It’s important to ask yourself how the year went for both you and your children. Was it hectic and stressful with a lot of running around or was it a mostly manageable experience? If you found yourself (and your kids) overscheduled, sit down and decide what can be done to change that come next fall. Talk to your children about their schoolwork and activities and how the two can be better balanced.

Many schools are done with official parent-teacher conferences, but if you feel there are issues to be discussed, make sure to put in a request for one final review with a teacher or counselor.  Even if you have no concerns, at the very least you can ask a teacher for a summer reading list or tips to help your kids not lose skills over the summer.

As crazy as it can be living in New York City, we also have the benefit of many school options, both public and private. If you feel your child’s current school is not a good fit, do some research on what other choices you might have. The spring and summer are a good time for this so you’ll be ready in the fall if you decide to make a change. The application process for all schools gets into full swing in September. Before then you can visit websites, talk to current families, and begin to make a list of where you’d like to apply.

But it all starts with a look back. Take some time to review the past year, talk to your children and their teachers, and decide if any changes need to be made. Once you’ve done that you’ll have a clearer picture of where you’ve been and where you’re headed. And don’t forget to relax and enjoy the summer!

Tags: application, classmates, homeschool, overscheduled, reading, review, school, summer, teachers

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It starts innocently enough. Your 4^th grader is busy doing his homework when he calls you into the room. He’s having trouble with a math problem and you gladly help clear it up for him. But that one question leads to another and another, and before you know it you’re sitting right next to him, pencil in hand. Math moves on to reading; reading to writing, and so on and so on. You’re doing his homework with him. The next day his teacher reviews his work, sees that he’s done it correctly, and moves on to the next topic. But has he really learned the material?

If you ask teachers, most, if not all, will say they do not want parents helping with homework. Answer a quick question?  Sure, but sitting with them through the process and making sure everything is done correctly is not what teachers want. Homework should be a reflection of what a student does and does not know, and this does not include parental help.

It’s a lesson that took me a while to learn. If my son showed me his homework and I noticed an error, I instinctually wanted to point it out and explain the correct answer. But I’ve come to realize that the wrong answers are something his teachers really need to see. Wrong answers help teachers set the pace and curriculum for a class. They also help them gauge where a student is at and what he needs to work on.

When a parent contacts me about a tutor for their child, I make sure we discuss exactly what the tutor’s role is. I explain that the tutor is not there to do a student’s work for them, but rather to guide them and give them strategies for succeeding. Just like a parent should not be providing the correct answers to homework, neither should a tutor.

I know there are parents who disagree with the notion that they be hands off at homework time. They feel it is part of the parental role to teach their children and help them whenever they can. I understand that point of view and used to embrace it as well, but after discussing it with many teachers, I now see the importance of letting my child’s work stand on its own. And by no means do I completely ignore my son when he’s doing his homework. If I can help guide him a bit, I do, but providing the answers is something that I’ve learned is not beneficial to him or his teachers.

Tags: curriculum, help, homework, math, parents, reading, strategies, teacher, tutor, writing

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I cry easily. TV commercials, Broadway musicals, the last page of the last Harry Potter book. You get the idea. And there I was last week, again reaching for the tissues. This time I was sitting in a crowded theater watching a performance by children from my son’s school. As a lot of you know, my son has learning disabilities and attends a special education school in Manhattan. He wasn’t even part of this performance, but the raw joy, energy, and talent coming from that stage was more than enough to make me “happy cry” as my son likes to call it.

If you’re a parent of a child with learning differences or special needs, you know what a stressful journey it can be, especially in the early days. Those first years are filled with doctors, therapists, evaluations, tutors, testing, not to mention searching for the right educational environment.  But if through hard work and more than a little luck, you’re able to find a great school for your child, the results can be life changing.

Proof of that was evident on the stage that night while I watched (and cried) through a dance performance by my sons’ schoolmates.  They didn’t just go through the moves, they were good! They were smiling and confident and dare I say it, typical. It could’ve been a performance by any children anywhere. Gone were their inhibitions and social awkwardness. Gone were their struggles with reading and writing and paying attention.  They weren’t special needs kids, they were just special. And it made me happy cry.

If you’re looking for a school for your special child, don’t be shy about asking questions during a tour. And if current parents are part of the school presentation, see if you can get an email address or phone number. Speaking to current parents is an invaluable way to learn more about the heart and soul of a place.  And most of all, if your child is old enough to visit a school and give you feedback, be sure to listen to what they say (and what they don’t say) very carefully. Kids know immediately whether they feel comfortable in an environment so be sure to ask them to share their thoughts.

Personally I’m looking forward to more tearful moments as my son makes his way through this life: graduations, tournaments, promotions, relationships….pass the tissues.

Tags: evaluations, learning_disabilities, parents, school, special, testing, therapists, tutors

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I have a love/hate relationship with labels. It became apparent pretty early on that my son had some learning disabilities. When I was seeking services for him from my local school district I was told in no uncertain terms that he would be classified as a preschooler with a disability. I had no choice. If he were to receive the services, he needed to be labeled. And honestly, although it wasn’t fun to “make it official,” I did not hesitate. If labeling him meant getting the speech/language therapy he desperately needed, then so be it.

Understandably, there are parents who hesitate when it comes to labeling their children for fear that it will follow them for the rest of their academic lives.  “What if my daughter just needs a bit of occupational therapy while in preschool, will that ruin her chances when we apply for kindergarten?”  The answer to that is no, it should not affect her chances at all. In fact, if a child no longer requires services past the age of five, the label and its corresponding paperwork basically disappears.  But if your child is still in need of some type of intervention at that age, then my advice is to make sure he or she gets it. And if that means another label, another classification (in my son’s case it was Speech Language Impaired), then so be it. Hiding the fact that your child has some learning differences when applying to kindergarten or any level of schooling, will only do more harm than good. I talk about the importance of the tutor/student match all the time. Well, the school/student match is vital as well and if your child is struggling, then he/she needs a school environment that will help with that.

But I did say love/hate when I first began this piece, didn’t I? Here comes the hate part. No child is their label and no person, teacher, tutor or school should treat them that way. If your child is labeled as Learning Disabled that does not mean she can’t learn; it means she needs to be taught in a different way. If your child has ADHD that does not mean he’s running wild and impossible to control 24/7.  If your child is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder it does not mean he’s not bright and capable. Once that label is affixed it can alter people’s perceptions of the true child.  You can help by advocating for your child as much as possible.  Meet with teachers, tutors, therapists, guidance counselors and make sure they understand. Also take time to listen to their ideas and try implementing some of their strategies at home.

The best piece of advice after my son was officially labeled was the following: He’s still the same boy you knew and loved yesterday. Don’t let the label change any of that, just let it help you get him what he needs. Like I said, it’s a love/hate thing.

Tags: ADHD, autism, disability, hate, intervention, labels, learning_disabilities, love, services, therapy

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Over the next two weeks New York City 3^rd through 8^th grade public school students will spend much of their time taking the standardized English and math exams. This is it! This is the time of year that all the debate has been about. Are public schools too busy “teaching to the test” and therefore giving our children a sub-par education? Or are the tests a good way to monitor how both students and teachers are performing?

Since Mosaic tutors have helped students prepare for these exams, I asked some of the parents how they feel about the whole process.  Like most people raising children in NYC, they admit the school scene and everything it encompasses is a bit crazy, yet like parents everywhere, they want what is best for their children. And if best means scoring a 3 or 4 on the state exams so entrance to a good middle or high school becomes more likely, then they’ll help their kids as much as they can. Help can take the form of hiring a tutor, getting testing accommodations, (e.g. extended time), or simply making sure their child is well rested and well fed the day of the test.

But does it have to be this way? I understand the desire to make teachers and students accountable, but I’m a strong believer in making sure the learning process is a non-stressful one. And if these tests add undue pressure to young learners and those who teach them, then are they really beneficial? When I meet with parents of potential Mosaic students, I always remind them that of course our tutors are there to help teach their children the material. But more importantly, the tutor’s primary goal is to help their students feel calm and confident. Practice exams and test taking strategies are just some of the ways tutors achieve this, along with seeing what type of learner the student is and adjusting the tutoring methods accordingly.

You may be opposed to the state of education today and the many school days spent teaching to the test, but if your choice is to send your child to a NYC public school, then this is the way it is. And making the experience a less stressful one for your child will make for happier students and teachers.

Tags: calm, confident, English, exams, math, public_schools, students, teachers, test, tutor

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I talk a lot about how the right teacher or tutor can make all the difference.  If your child clicks with an educator, it can make the learning process rewarding and fun. But you need to be sure that you pay the same attention to afterschool teachers and coaches.  Whether the activity is chess, baseball, gymnastics or violin lessons, the person guiding your child has to be a match.

As a parent, I’ve seen both the good and the bad. My son has a chess teacher who is nothing short of magical. He takes the time to get to know his students – their personalities, likes and dislikes, playing style – and then he uses that knowledge to teach. He’s kind and nurturing, yet he’s a taskmaster who demands and receives respect. And his students are more than willing to give it to him because they feel that respect coming right back at them.

And then there was the baseball coach who somehow thought Little League meant Major League. He too was a taskmaster who demanded respect, yet it wasn’t coupled with the kindness or nurturing that most kids (mine included) need. I’m not talking about coddling or spoiling; I understand that the tough approach can be very effective and ultimately productive. But if that’s all a teacher or coach is – tough and mean – most children won’t respond very well.

I’m not saying that you should let your child quit an activity if they’re immediately unhappy. Sometimes it takes a few lessons for both coach and student to get acclimated, but if several weeks go by and your child is miserable, it might be time to pull the plug. My son was unhappy, but willing to stick it out with that baseball coach I described, but when after a few weeks the coach just got more and more ornery (even emailing me and suggesting that my son wasn’t “enthusiastic” enough), I offered my son the opportunity to quit. His relief was so instant and obvious that I knew I had made the right choice.

Activities outside of school are important and should be a time of learning and enjoyment.  But just as with a school teacher or tutor, the match with your child is a critical piece of the mosaic.

Tags: afterschool, chess, coaches, match, mosaic, respect, teachers

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Like it or not, (and some people most definitely do not like it), our children are growing up in a digital age. My son knew how to use a computer mouse by the time he was two years old. He would click on shapes and colors on the Sesame Street website, paint a digital picture, watch an animated alphabet dance on the screen. I had no problem with it, but I also made sure that it wasn’t how he spent the majority of his time. It’s been kind of a crazy ride raising a child during these changing times, but I’m sure generations of parents before me have said the same thing.

The big question that I and the other parents I meet ask themselves is how much is too much? There are so many varieties of media now that it can be difficult to limit. We used to just worry about how much television our children were watching. Now TV is one small part of a digital picture that includes computers, Gameboys, DS, Wii, Xbox, texting, Facebook, Twitter, and on and on! How much (or how little) should children get to use each day and how does that change with age?

I have mixed emotions about this topic. There are a lot of reasons why I think overuse of digital media can harm a child, but I have to admit to seeing some benefits as well. For example, my son loves to play chess and thanks to Facebook he can play a game with his uncle who lives hundreds of miles away. And of course when it comes to research for school work, the internet is a seemingly endless resource of information in various formats, e.g., text, videos, podcasts. This far surpasses the encyclopedia set I used as a child.

But I know it’s not all good, and that’s why I try to set limits.  Children need to be physically active, preferably outside, and sitting home staring at a DS screen for hours is not a good alternative. Reading books, in my opinion, will always take precedence over a digital activity. The more a child reads, the richer their vocabulary becomes, not to mention their knowledge of our world. While playing Wii is fun, it’s not a replacement for books or even a walk outside.

As with all things, striking a balance seems to be the answer. I see nothing wrong with some digital media exposure as long as it doesn’t completely replace the non-digital ones. How do you feel about this topic? Do you limit your child’s digital activities? I’d love to hear from you.

Tags: books, computer, digital, internet, media, reading, website

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Reading – one of life’s most important skills. We need it for just about everything. It’s never one of those subjects in school where a student says, “But why do we have to know this?” It’s essential. For many children, it comes naturally. They learn their letters, the corresponding sounds those letters make, and they’re on their way. But for many others, it’s a struggle. Some can’t seem to make that letter/sound connection; others can do that with ease, but can’t understand what it is they just read. For all these children, intervention of some kind is often necessary.

Intervention can take many forms: a specialized school, an after-school tutor, or just some extra help from a teacher or parent. My son happened to need a combination of all of those things to help with his reading and he’s come very far. And because I own Mosaic Tutoring, I’ve met some really terrific kids who needed extra help with reading and I’m so happy to say they’ve improved as well.

I recently saw a 6^th grade student that one of our tutors has been working with for months. He was so eager to tell me that he had gone up four levels in reading and was now reading beyond the 6^th grade level. After sharing a high five, I said to him, “Wow! You must be so proud of yourself!” He nodded in agreement. Perhaps even more important than improving his reading ability, his tutor had helped increase his confidence. A student has no bigger enemy than a deflated sense of his or her ability. Once they feel better about what they can do and believe they can do it, the good grades will follow.

And I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t mention Beth G., the fantastic tutor that works with that 6^th grader as well as many other Mosaic students. She is a gifted teacher and tutor who manages to inspire and instill confidence in all the young readers she works with. Thank you, Beth!

Tags: confidence, intervention, letters, reading, rewards, tutor

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Another year of private school shopping has come to a close for some NYC parents, while for others, the wait continues. We all know what’s involved in this stressful process, so I won’t rehash that here, but I do want to share my thoughts as a parent who has been there and done that.

Let me be clear by saying my “been there done that” is not what you might think. We applied to seven private schools and promptly received seven rejection letters. At that time (eight years ago) we were not fully aware of my son’s learning disabilities. We eventually got him a spot in a fine Collaborative Team Teaching class at a local public school, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make. Going through the private school application process and ultimately the special needs school application process has taught me a lot. The main lesson I’ve learned? Nothing is forever and you shouldn’t make choices as if it will be.

I’ve spoken to and offered advice to many parents going through it and so many of them are looking for a school that goes from kindergarten all the way through 12^th grade. “This process is so horrible that I can’t imagine ever being able to go through it again. I want to do it once and then we’re done until college!” I understand this sentiment, but I strongly feel it’s wrong to choose a school for that reason alone. If you’re lucky enough to have a choice between a K-8 and a K-12 school, be sure to choose the school that you think would fit your child best, not the one that you think gives you a 12 year respite from the application process.

The five year old you know today may be a very different person by the time he or she is ready for high school. There’s a strong possibility that the K-12 school you choose today might not be a match in the teenage years, so why eliminate a great school from contention just because it stops at the 5^th or 8^th grade? And there’s also that little thing called life that gets in the way of our best made plans: families move, jobs change, opportunities arise. I’ve met many parents who end up leaving a school they pictured staying at for years. It happens!

We’re lucky to live in NYC where school options abound. Take some time and look at as many as you can. You know your child best and should be able to tell where you think he or she will be most comfortable and will flourish. But don’t shorten your list by excluding schools that don’t go through 12^th grade. If you can survive the application process once, believe it or not, you can do it again. Often times things change and when they do, you’ll be ready for it.

Tags: application, K-12, learning_disabilities, private_school, schools

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